him or him?

the dilemma of my life.. but you see, this isn't even a dilemma! i'm comparing 2 guys who i suppose i could grow old with but they don't even reciprocate..
macky, the love of my life.
we love each other but it doesn't measure up---mine's intimate, his is platonic! "we" can really end-up together, it's just not in this life time.
russ, my man whore.
we totally get each other. if you put it figuratively, our eyes can communicate with each other. he knows me more than anyone--i'm talking about the dark, wild and kinky me. i enjoy talking with him because he gets my innuendos, he doesn't intimidate me and i don't feel the need to hold my thoughts--just lay every thing on the table, i can get naked with him (figuratively and literally, haha). but here's the thing, we haven't met in person yet. we have a common friend & he set us up to be text mates (june 2006). since then, we've shared a lot of talk (mostly about sex) and unloaded lots of horniness--in this uptight society, how liberating can that be?
he's the one but he's not the one. i enjoy him but i know deep in my heart he'll just be my man whore. if i could just pick his qualities and put it on macky then macky would be perfect. but you see, i don't care that macky's not perfect, that he hurt me a lot, that he don't get me, that i have to explain my innuendos to him.. i just want him in my life. he's the one i'd like to grow old with..